Times are tough. We hear it all around us everyday… another business going under, another bankruptcy being filed, another job being lost, another home going into foreclosure, or another pension disappearing into dust. Worry takes a toll as stress builds, creativity suffers, health is compromised and relationships are threatened.
To keep with my transparent blogging style, I want to share this with you that this is one of the most difficult financial times of my life. I have always been an independent businesswoman and my background is in real estate, so all of my assets were in what I thought was the safest thing- real estate. Unfortunately my properties are now upside-down and eating money like hungry alligators.
I have one specific investment property in Las Vegas that I’ve been trying to sell for almost a year. I feel like I’m banging my head against a wall every day. After months of waiting for the lender to approve a pending sale, the buyer walked away from the deal just days before the sale was to close. This situation right now is precarious and at times, can be quite scary.
My best friend and her husband, who were two of my wealthiest friends, have recently filed bankruptcy as his company failed. He was the best businessman I know and I invested in his company. Through a multitude of things all lining up the wrong way, his firm is the latest casualty of this economy.
The stories go on and on for all of us. For the first time in my life, I think we all know someone who is directly affected by this recession. I just know that it sucks. I know that’s not very inspirational, but that’s what’s real for me.
Yesterday I crashed. With the threat of “the worst that could happen” looking probable for the Las Vegas property, I felt ignorant, worthless and like such a failure. I could physically feel that emotion in the pit of my stomach and spent time crying my way through it.
Funny thing is, in talking with my best friend just the other day, I was sharing with her that the failure of her husband’s business, or their personal bankruptcy- doesn’t define who she is. Funny how it felt like it WAS me when it was my problem we were dealing with. We all know that we are not our problems- even when it feels that way.
Personally, I wonder how I could have been so foolish to invest everything in real estate, and have lost what I did. At times the guilt of making wrong decisions is so overwhelming that it kills all self-confidence to move forward. I’m guessing some of you can identify with this.
This is precisely when the greater part of me needs to step in and shake things up! We all have the little part of us that deals with the everyday stuff, gets upset, scared and knows the meaning of fear. This is the human part that feels vulnerable, guilty, inadequate or just plain stupid.
But, thankfully we also have the greater part of ourselves. This is the all-knowing part of me that knows I’m connected to something much bigger than what’s showing up in front of me. It’s the part that realizes that I am not my problems- even when it feels like I am. It’s the part of me that stands up and reminds me who I really am. It’s the part that knows that no matter what, this too shall pass, and in the big picture, it’s not what’s important.
Depending upon your spiritual or religious beliefs, some may call this part our connection to God, the Universe, or some Divine presence. All I know for sure is that call it whatever you like- I’m connected to something bigger than me. And it’s that connection that helps me to remember who I am.
But how do you remember how magnificent you really are when you feel like crap? How do you get unstuck? How do you stop feeling like such a failure when everything around you appears to be going wrong?
Here are my Top Ten Ways to Remember Your Magnificence During Tough Times… (a.k.a Things that work for me when I’m stuck or scared. I wrote them down as much for me as I did for you- to remember at times when I’m having ‘one of those days’…)
1.) Look at the worst thing that can happen. Feel it. Mourn it. Cry through it. Then picture the worst that can happen and realize that you’ll live through it. From that alone, you’ll find the release and strength to move on.
2.) Forgive yourself and stop beating yourself up. What happened has happened. You can’t change yesterday so don’t waste energy on it. It’s already in the past. Let it go so you can move past it.
As the Desiderata says, “You are a child of God, no less than the moon and the stars.. you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, the Universe is unfolding as it should”. Wow- take that in for just a moment… you are no less than the moon and the stars and they are pretty spectacular! Would you beat up the moon and think it inadequate because it doesn’t shine the same every night?
Beating ourselves up over something that may appear real serves no one. Everyone has problems. Even enlightened people have problems. What’s different is how they choose to look at and react to them. Most important is how we choose to move forward.
3.) Find something to be grateful for. No matter how awful things may look you have at least one thing to be grateful for. Find it and celebrate it, and from that, more good will flow into your life.
4.) Realize that life is an ever-changing journey where nothing stays the same. That means that this too shall pass. (and hopefully soon!) What matters most is that you keep going. If you’re stagnant, remember that pond scum only forms on still waters. ☺
5.) Change your focus. As humans, we can only have one thought at a time and we get to choose the thought. If the circumstances you’re in are dreadful, do what you can to solve it, then turn it over to the Universe and focus on something else. Focus on what you WANT, not what appears to be showing up.
Create a vision for your life of where you want to be- regardless of what might be showing up in your life today. Focus on where you choose to be and feel THAT feeling. The fastest way to bring that into our life is to celebrate it in advance and feel it- even if we’re only playing “make believe”. This alone will change the energy around the situation and create shift.
6.) Look at your priorities. We spend too much time worrying about the things that matter the least. You are not your problems. As Noah ben Shea writes, “Being broke is not the same as being broken, losing money is not the same as being lost and finding your balance is not something you can do on a balance sheet”. Remember what’s important and what’s not. If it won’t matter in five years, it’s not worth worrying about today.
7.) Go do something for someone else. The fastest way to get unstuck is to reach out and help someone else in need. Most times this act brings perspective into our own situation and we realize things are not so dire.
8.) Have faith and believe in yourself and in your future. The solution to your all-consuming problem could show up in the next moment. Anything is possible for us- if we just believe. Believe that the sun will come up again tomorrow and that it is still a beautiful world. Find the magic in the moments and surrender your beliefs on how things “should” be to the greater will of the Universe.
9.) Surround yourself with people who believe in you, support you and love you. This can be in the form of daily inspiration from InspireMeToday.com, virtual friends on Twitter or FaceBook and friends that you connect to in person. Reach out to them for help and accept help when it is offered. Be there to help someone discover his or her own magnificence!
10.) Reconnect to who you really are. Go deep. Maybe this means go meditate, pray or go for a walk in the woods. Whatever reconnection looks like for you, realize that you are more than your problems, so remember the infinite, unlimited nature of who you are.
Sometimes I too get caught up in the problems and the drama and forget who I am. The important thing isn’t that we forget, but how quickly we remember who we really are. We are infinite beings with unlimited potential!
Remember, there is nothing like you in all of creation… relish in that. Treasure the you that is inside. Nurture and grow that presence until it becomes bigger than the problems. You are immeasurable and when you tap into that knowledge, anything is possible. When you tap into your greatness, your problem will diminish in size in direct proportion to that which you connect to. In other words, tap into little things like problems and they will seem enormous. Tap into the vast, unlimited power of who you really are, and you will jump over those same problems that at one point, appeared to be insurmountable.
Today, remembering your own magnificence, step forth bravely. Be courageous. Even though there are problems in my path, for today, I will not allow something so minute to diminish the splendor of who I really am or rob moments from this precious day.
For me, I’m going to go spend my day holding my granddaughter, walking on the beach with my husband and my family, and tap into something bigger than me- something that has the power to turn mountains into molehills.
Find your own magnificence within you and come leap over mountains with me. We all have problems and likewise, we all have opportunities to put them into perspective and live today to the fullest. I hope you’ll join me and make your day rock.
Please share your tips for how you find your balance and get unstuck from what could be a scary situation for you… in the hopes that together we can help one another remember the magnificence of who we really are.
Love and hugs to you,
This Post Has 20 Comments
you are human after all. Although you are also divine As you can still pick yourself up and still inspire others with your words and writings.
It’s true that virtual friends on Twitter or FaceBook can help, I know they have and still help me cope with life troubles everyday.
Thank you for sharing with us. Your top 10 Ways to Remember Your Magnificence During Tough Times Hit it right on. All i can add is that things don’t change over night problems will continue, you have to put things in perspective and do the best we can, and just aim be the best version of ourself
Love and hugs back to you and everyone
Faith is the key. Faith in ourselves and in this connection with something bigger that you mention. I do believe that everything happens for a good reason even if we don’t understand it at first. God bless you for giving others inspiration and thus helping yourself somehow.
Sanjay, Sam and Henry,
Thank you for the love and support. I really appreciate your comments and your being such an important part of our InspireMeToday.com community. I feel hugged. 🙂
Big hugs and more thanks,
Surrounding yourself with supporters and believers is so key. Not that you don’t need honesty along the way, but those who love you will bring forth honesty in a way that is beneficial and will help you achieve greatness. I owe so much to my close friends, they mean the world to me.
I truly admire your openess and your courage. I can only imagine what you are going through. Your faith in the future that there will be a better day ahead is testimony to who you are as a person. Your top 10 ways are very encouraging and is a positive side to looking at things.
I salute you for being open, direct and having the confidence in yourself and your abilities despite the card you have been dealt with in these hard and difficult times. You are not alone in your struggles we all are with you and my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Keep on inspiring others. Don’t give up.
Gail, thank you so much. I hear you and will be re-reading through this time.
Thank you for this post! I too, have been going through a difficult time and appreciated reading this. It takes time, but the best part is looking back and realizing how strong you were and how much you endured.
What an uplifting post at a time I needed it.
Gail, thank you!
I love your top 10. A few things that help me are from the bible. After all God created the universe, I feel I should stop and listen to him about how to make it through this world. In Matthew 6:26-34 Jesus tells us not to worry.
26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life[a]?
28″And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
I was not raised with Jesus in my life so I entered my faith with more than one person’s fair share of worry! These verses taught me to do what I can in the moment and give the rest to God. I may not understand why certain things happen the way they do, but I trust in God, and I know that He is in control. I have a 16 year old daughter who lost all of her hair when she was 7 to a disease called alopecia. It brought me to God, and it also enabled me to realize that I did not have control over really important things. I had to give it to God. He is so faithful though and nine years later, my daughter is the most well-adjusted, outgoing young woman I could ever have prayed for. God has taken care of her completely – without restoring her hair.
I know this is long (sorry) but these verses helped me so much, so many times that I wanted to share them. I will keep you and your current situation in my prayers! Thanks for always giving back to everyone!
Thank you for your loving comments.
Global Patriot, our friends and extended family add SO much to our lives!
Brandi, Jenny and Maxine, thanks for your comments and your loving support.
Sue, I grew up going to church with a girl named Sue Miley. Your post took me right back to when I was a teenager. Thanks for sharing your words with me.
I greatly appreciate the loving support of all of you. I am indeed blessed in many ways, including this great community of friends/family.
Love and hugs,
Thanks Gail the timing was perfect I have until Monday to find a place to live with $200.00 in the bank. With your blog and other things that have happened today I know things will be fine. And it is ironic that over the last couple of days people that that I know in passing only on Facebook have just popped up in chats saying how much they enjoy my comments. There is a time that you can start to see things that you’ve been through and had to deal with end up coming together and that’s where I am now. AND I”M EXCITED!
Marc, thanks for sharing your comments. May you find the perfect home and may your situation shift to bring abundance, peace and joy into your life. You’re in my thoughts.
I love your transparency, and your insight to put so many things such perspective. I am jumping over mountains with you…and think YOU are magnificent!
I love this quote! “Being broke is not the same as being broken, losing money is not the same as being lost and finding your balance is not something you can do on a balance sheet”
Thank you so much for sharing YOU!
You truly are a beautiful being…inside and out 🙂
Big huge smiles 🙂 xoxo!
Fabulous column, Gail! Sounds like we “Think, Feel and Do’ a lot alike. Loved your layout, pics, et. al. Looking forward to many more like it.
Sorry to hear about the tough times – and thanks for sharing the important wisdom on how to best navigate through them.
Gail, your one of your photos reminds me of another thing that really works for me in this tough time we are in right now. Go out and spend some time in nature. Go into the woods, and really feel the silence and the beingness of nature. It is centering and calming. I love Lao Tzu’s quote “Nature never hurries, yet all is accomplished.”
Jacqui, Victoria, Michael and Carolyn,
Thank you for your kind comments and loving support. I love my InspireMeToday.com family and I’m grateful that you are a part of it. Thank you for being you and for sharing with me.
Love and hugs,
Thank you so much for daring to be vulnerable by sharing your current situation and feelings with us. It simply is a reminder to me that “Yep, we’re all human.” I thought I could be cool and offer up some of my own tips…but really, you hit the nail on the head with your “Top Ten” list above.
I, too, agree wholeheartedly that we are all a part of something larger and wonderful and magnificent. As a Professional Coach for the last several years, I have seen one thread in common among all of us: At the core, we are all fundamentally the same–we all have dreams and hopes, fears and challenges, and we all just want to be–and do–our best.
The way that I find balance or get unstuck is to tap into the things that bring me joy. Which is exactly what you’re doing today as you hold your granddaughter and walk on the beach. It’s way too easy to make life “complex” and get lost in how things ‘should’ be. But really, the formula is very simple: Hold on to, and embrace, what brings you joy…and your magnificence will unfold in front of you!
Know that I will keep you in my thoughts as you move through this part of your journey. I’m sending you lots of love…and wishes for peace.
Again, thank you for inviting us into your life and sharing this important chapter with us. Now let’s all go step into joy and make it a day that will ROCK!
With friendship and blessings,
Here’s one I would add to your list, Gail. It always works for me:
Spend some time with kids. Especially in the 4-9 age range. They will remind you what is important in life.
Tom, you are so right! Why is it that kids seem to know things that we’ve forgotten? Have we just filled our minds with useless trivia and other things and buried the most important knowledge? Thanks for the timely reminder. Big hugs to you tonight!