Times are tough. We hear it all around us everyday… another business going under, another bankruptcy being filed, another job being lost, another home going into foreclosure, or another pension disappearing into dust. Worry takes a toll as stress builds, creativity suffers, health is compromised and relationships are threatened.
To keep with my transparent blogging style, I want to share this with you that this is one of the most difficult financial times of my life. I have always been an independent businesswoman and my background is in real estate, so all of my assets were in what I thought was the safest thing- real estate. Unfortunately my properties are now upside-down and eating money like hungry alligators.
I have one specific investment property in Las Vegas that I’ve been trying to sell for almost a year. I feel like I’m banging my head against a wall every day. After months of waiting for the lender to approve a pending sale, the buyer walked away from the deal just days before the sale was to close. This situation right now is precarious and at times, can be quite scary.
My best friend and her husband, who were two of my wealthiest friends, have recently filed bankruptcy as his company failed. He was the best businessman I know and I invested in his company. Through a multitude of things all lining up the wrong way, his firm is the latest casualty of this economy.
The stories go on and on for all of us. For the first time in my life, I think we all know someone who is directly affected by this recession. I just know that it sucks. I know that’s not very inspirational, but that’s what’s real for me.
Yesterday I crashed. With the threat of “the worst that could happen” looking probable for the Las Vegas property, I felt ignorant, worthless and like such a failure. I could physically feel that emotion in the pit of my stomach and spent time crying my way through it.
Funny thing is, in talking with my best friend just the other day, I was sharing with her that the failure of her husband’s business, or their personal bankruptcy- doesn’t define who she is. Funny how it felt like it WAS me when it was my problem we were dealing with. We all know that we are not our problems- even when it feels that way.
Personally, I wonder how I could have been so foolish to invest everything in real estate, and have lost what I did. At times the guilt of making wrong decisions is so overwhelming that it kills all self-confidence to move forward. I’m guessing some of you can identify with this.
This is precisely when the greater part of me needs to step in and shake things up! We all have the little part of us that deals with the everyday stuff, gets upset, scared and knows the meaning of fear. This is the human part that feels vulnerable, guilty, inadequate or just plain stupid.
But, thankfully we also have the greater part of ourselves. This is the all-knowing part of me that knows I’m connected to something much bigger than what’s showing up in front of me. It’s the part that realizes that I am not my problems- even when it feels like I am. It’s the part of me that stands up and reminds me who I really am. It’s the part that knows that no matter what, this too shall pass, and in the big picture, it’s not what’s important.
Depending upon your spiritual or religious beliefs, some may call this part our connection to God, the Universe, or some Divine presence. All I know for sure is that call it whatever you like- I’m connected to something bigger than me. And it’s that connection that helps me to remember who I am.
But how do you remember how magnificent you really are when you feel like crap? How do you get unstuck? How do you stop feeling like such a failure when everything around you appears to be going wrong?
Here are my Top Ten Ways to Remember Your Magnificence During Tough Times… (a.k.a Things that work for me when I’m stuck or scared. I wrote them down as much for me as I did for you- to remember at times when I’m having ‘one of those days’…)
1.) Look at the worst thing that can happen. Feel it. Mourn it. Cry through it. Then picture the worst that can happen and realize that you’ll live through it. From that alone, you’ll find the release and strength to move on.
2.) Forgive yourself and stop beating yourself up. What happened has happened. You can’t change yesterday so don’t waste energy on it. It’s already in the past. Let it go so you can move past it.
As the Desiderata says, “You are a child of God, no less than the moon and the stars.. you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, the Universe is unfolding as it should”. Wow- take that in for just a moment… you are no less than the moon and the stars and they are pretty spectacular! Would you beat up the moon and think it inadequate because it doesn’t shine the same every night?
Beating ourselves up over something that may appear real serves no one. Everyone has problems. Even enlightened people have problems. What’s different is how they choose to look at and react to them. Most important is how we choose to move forward.
3.) Find something to be grateful for. No matter how awful things may look you have at least one thing to be grateful for. Find it and celebrate it, and from that, more good will flow into your life.
4.) Realize that life is an ever-changing journey where nothing stays the same. That means that this too shall pass. (and hopefully soon!) What matters most is that you keep going. If you’re stagnant, remember that pond scum only forms on still waters. ☺
5.) Change your focus. As humans, we can only have one thought at a time and we get to choose the thought. If the circumstances you’re in are dreadful, do what you can to solve it, then turn it over to the Universe and focus on something else. Focus on what you WANT, not what appears to be showing up.
Create a vision for your life of where you want to be- regardless of what might be showing up in your life today. Focus on where you choose to be and feel THAT feeling. The fastest way to bring that into our life is to celebrate it in advance and feel it- even if we’re only playing “make believe”. This alone will change the energy around the situation and create shift.
6.) Look at your priorities. We spend too much time worrying about the things that matter the least. You are not your problems. As Noah ben Shea writes, “Being broke is not the same as being broken, losing money is not the same as being lost and finding your balance is not something you can do on a balance sheet”. Remember what’s important and what’s not. If it won’t matter in five years, it’s not worth worrying about today.
7.) Go do something for someone else. The fastest way to get unstuck is to reach out and help someone else in need. Most times this act brings perspective into our own situation and we realize things are not so dire.
8.) Have faith and believe in yourself and in your future. The solution to your all-consuming problem could show up in the next moment. Anything is possible for us- if we just believe. Believe that the sun will come up again tomorrow and that it is still a beautiful world. Find the magic in the moments and surrender your beliefs on how things “should” be to the greater will of the Universe.
9.) Surround yourself with people who believe in you, support you and love you. This can be in the form of daily inspiration from InspireMeToday.com, virtual friends on Twitter or FaceBook and friends that you connect to in person. Reach out to them for help and accept help when it is offered. Be there to help someone discover his or her own magnificence!
10.) Reconnect to who you really are. Go deep. Maybe this means go meditate, pray or go for a walk in the woods. Whatever reconnection looks like for you, realize that you are more than your problems, so remember the infinite, unlimited nature of who you are.
Sometimes I too get caught up in the problems and the drama and forget who I am. The important thing isn’t that we forget, but how quickly we remember who we really are. We are infinite beings with unlimited potential!
Remember, there is nothing like you in all of creation… relish in that. Treasure the you that is inside. Nurture and grow that presence until it becomes bigger than the problems. You are immeasurable and when you tap into that knowledge, anything is possible. When you tap into your greatness, your problem will diminish in size in direct proportion to that which you connect to. In other words, tap into little things like problems and they will seem enormous. Tap into the vast, unlimited power of who you really are, and you will jump over those same problems that at one point, appeared to be insurmountable.
Today, remembering your own magnificence, step forth bravely. Be courageous. Even though there are problems in my path, for today, I will not allow something so minute to diminish the splendor of who I really am or rob moments from this precious day.
For me, I’m going to go spend my day holding my granddaughter, walking on the beach with my husband and my family, and tap into something bigger than me- something that has the power to turn mountains into molehills.
Find your own magnificence within you and come leap over mountains with me. We all have problems and likewise, we all have opportunities to put them into perspective and live today to the fullest. I hope you’ll join me and make your day rock.
Please share your tips for how you find your balance and get unstuck from what could be a scary situation for you… in the hopes that together we can help one another remember the magnificence of who we really are.
Love and hugs to you,