Tag: Relationships

Mother and Child on Grass

Mother is the First Beloved

Years ago, I worked with a gifted hypnotherapist. He was a newbie to the craft, just starting out, and I don’t think either he or I understood the scope of his abilities then. Suffice it to say, I went to places and spaces that were far beyond the price of his introductory sessions! We worked together in the dank basement room of a rental office downtown, the kind of place where folks set up flimsy folding tables and phone banks, then clear out overnight to whereabouts unknown. A way stop for fly-by-night businesses, filled with all the ghosts of failed…

Read more
Ask a Luminary

Does a Broken Promise Mean a Broken Relationship?

"I'm disappointed by the lack of honesty in the world today. Recently I've had one promise after another broken by various individuals. Does anyone value honesty any more?" ~ Stephen, San Diego, CA Dear Stephen, Feeling that others are dishonest is a sign that your expectations are not aligned. It’s important to clearly communicate what you expect to happen and what you’re willing to do to help make it happen. You have two choices: 1. You can be right. That means that the other person must be wrong if they can’t or won’t meet your preferences. Your inflexibility will drive people…

Read more

You Can’t Do It Alone: The Power of Community

It is only in the most recent history that people subscribe to the ideal of "independence," of doing it on your own, of not needing anybody to support you. And in concept, this may be a good idea but only as a concept. We have millions of years of a genetic heritage that argues for community and we have maybe 75 to 100 years that argues for independence. Human beings have survived out of their interdependence, not their independence. When infants are born they are completely helpless and would surely perish if not for the love and care given by…

Read more

Father is the First Teacher

My bathing cap is too tight; it doesn’t hold the cascade of hair that someone’s piled on my head in order to squash it on, pull it tight until it covers my ears. When I take it off later, my hair will be sodden, snarled, and the long strands will catch in the cap, causing me to yelp in pain. I wear it, because I want to pretend I am immune from the water: that even when I am submerged, my body will be safe from all that scary wetness. If we wore goggles back then, I’d have put them…

Read more
Ask a Luminary

How Can I Help My Struggling Friend?

"I have a friend struggling with grief, health and emotional issues. She is extremely negative, sarcastic and angry in all aspects of her life. She has no other friends and thanks me for being a positive example in her life. Very slowly, she is trying to change to more positive thoughts and actions. Problem is I am getting drained being her only friend in life. Her complaining is constant and she needs me so much of the time..I have a husband and other friends and I love to journal and read. I don't seem to have time for much anything…

Read more

Stop This Secret Self-Sabotage

We're often led to act against ourselves by an undetected weakness that goes before us -- trying to pass itself off to others -- as a strength. This is secret self-sabotage. It sinks us in our personal and business relationships as surely as a torpedo wrecks the ship it strikes. Learning how to stop this self-sinking is the focus of this exercise. Let's begin by gathering the higher insights we'll need to succeed. Any person you feel the need to control or dominate -- so that he or she will treat you as you "think" you should be treated --…

Read more
Ask a Luminary

How Can I Move Out of My Household’s Negative Energy?

"I have been living with my adult son, his wife, and my 2 grandchildren for 2 years now. I finally set boundaries regarding the expectation that I cook and do the laundry for a family of six in addition to providing babysitting and childcare help for my two granddaughters, ages 5 and 6. I am a 58 year old woman, divorced with two grown sons. Since I have set the limits, I am getting the silent treatment from my daughter in law. If I try to communicate, I get curt, short one word answers. I have overheard her yelling at…

Read more

Bouncing with Style: Aren’t You Embarrassed?

"Aren’t you embarrassed? You are embarrassing yourself and your family." Anonymous Gmail and Baseball Mom. I’m going to be brutally honest: the email in my inbox knocked me on my tush as did the comments from the mom at my son’s baseball game’s. For 5 years, I have spoken frankly on the air what it’s like to be cheated on, suffer through a traumatic divorce and foreclosure, and bury my mother after a long term battle with breast cancer. Additionally, my words written and spoken reached over 1 million people – quantified by Google, iTunes and the Texas based radio…

Read more
Ask a Luminary

Why Do I Attract Violent People into My Life?

"Hi Sara, I recently discovered your work and have a strong feeling that this was not random luck. I’m a 48-year woman and I’m not able to move forward in my life. I have always been a loner, not able to connect with people. I had an unpleasant childhood with a dominant mother and 2 long-term relationships in which I experienced violence, both physical and emotional. I’m a very sensitive person, an introvert. I’m having a relationship right now, but I’m not able to connect with him, both physically and emotionally. My boyfriend is 15 years older. I have this…

Read more

Calling in Your Beloved: The Truth About Soul Mates

As we approach that magical day, 2/14/2014, our thoughts turn to love—or more precisely, romantic love. It’s a concept that’s been around since medieval times, but it’s reinvented itself over the centuries. Today, when we talk about romantic love, what we usually mean is: Your soul mate Your true love Your destiny Your one and only Love at first sight These are terms for what is energetically referred to as a primary soul mate who’s also a romantic partner. Once we set aside all the chocolate-and-champagne that is the hallmark of modern romance, we understand at a deeper level that…

Read more
Ask a Luminary

7 Loving Ways to Improve Your Relationship with Your Spouse

"I want to improve the relationship with my wife, but I don't know where to start. We're best friends, but I want the spark back that we had 20 years ago. Do all relationships get to this point and is it unrealistic to think that passion can last forever?" It’s time to create romance by adding more “love languages” to your relationship! There are seven ways you show love to your mate. Get playful and start using them in unexpected ways. You’ll have a ball and she’ll be swept of her feet! 1. Words of Affirmation. Tell her what you…

Read more
Ask a Luminary

How Can I Let Go of Negative Thoughts?

"I am sad about my marriage of 40 years being over. I have tried so hard to save it but we are just on different vibrations. What do I do with my negative thoughts when they come up??" ~ Kathy Rose, Los Angeles, CA Firstly, Kathy, I would ask that you be loving and kind to yourself. Coming to this realization is not an easy one and I am sure it is not a decision you have taken lightly. Forgiveness of yourself and of your spouse is helpful. Knowing that you have tried and you are both taking the best…

Read more
Ask a Luminary

Ask Sara: My Fiancé is Grieving… Can This Relationship Work?

"Hi Sara, I discovered you through DailyOM, which I read almost daily. I feel very stuck at the moment and I'm not sure if it's due from my relationship uncertainty or just the fact I need more purpose in my life, but I am taking it out on my fiancé instead. I met him three and a half years ago. His wife had died a year and a half before. The family did not accept me at first and probably kept thinking this would pass and he would move on to the next. We fell in love quickly and have…

Read more
Ask a Luminary

How Can I Improve My Relationship?

"Why does my relationship with my partner feel like a mother/child relationship? I see this with a number of my friends as well. It's as if our men are insecure or not feeling empowered?? Is there something we women can do (or not do) on our end to remedy this or is it another one of those things that 'will never change'?" ~ Rachel Dear Rachel, We have been asked about the "mother-child relationship" in couples before. Some men report feeling that over time, they do not experience their female partner as sweet, loving, affectionate, and nurturing as she was…

Read more

‘Lost’ Loved Ones

During the holidays, many of us become acutely aware of “lost” loved ones — family members, friends and colleagues who are no longer with us in physical form. So, instead of experiencing the holidays as a fun and festive time of year, we wind up feeling sad, lonely or even overwhelmed by a sense of grief and loss. I understand. And yet, I know with every fiber of my being that life is eternal. Those loved ones who are no longer in their physical bodies are not gone. They are simply not here in the same way that they were…

Read more
Daisy

From Living Hell to Living Well

We’ve all been there – a place that feels like hell on earth. And we ask ourselves the same question over and over: “Why me?” Have you ever stopped to think about this continuous loop and how amazingly coincidental that it continues to happen over and over again? If your thoughts and beliefs are permanently fixed on the “why”, you will never have an opportunity to investigate the “what” for your life. Life obstacles and traumas are inevitable and they happen for a reason. The sooner we learn the lesson, embrace change, and focus our thoughts on what we DO…

Read more
Ask a Luminary

Is This Friendship Over?

"I have a question I'd really like to know your thoughts on. I have a friend named Daniel. We recently had a falling out. I was tired of him holding back and I felt like I was always the one giving and getting nothing in return. Some harsh things were said by both of us. I'd really like to know how he is feeling. Can this be repaired? I already reached out, but he's not responding. I wonder if he even cares to have me as a friend. Thanks so much."  ~ Pam Hi Pam, The relationship is over, and…

Read more
Ask a Luminary

How Do I Both Save My New Marriage and Be a Good Parent?

"My daughter (18) asked to move in with me and her step mom (my second marriage) for a week or two. Instead she moved in indefinitely with all her belongings after arguing with her mom. She is in college but goes out 'til the early AM and has been a little nasty. But in general a good girl. I have to communicate with her mom often to discuss my daughter's situation. I suspect drug use and alcohol. "My current wife cannot take all of this, and feels very uncomfortable now at home and with our relationship. I was married 15…

Read more
Ask a Luminary

How Do I Deal With Negative People?

"I have reached a high level of spiritualism in the past 3 years. I find it difficult to interact with family and friends. They don't seem to understand me. Their negativity makes me almost physically ill. I find myself enjoying just being alone. Not sure if that is good or not but I am extremely happy. Do others have the same issues?" ~  PJ, Parma Being alone is a very important part of the spiritual journey. In an overly noisy world it's difficult to find the quiet necessary to cultivate inner perception, and solitude is one way to do that. The…

Read more

Unlucky in Love? Check Your Belief System

"I'm in my mid 50's and always keep my eyes out for someone to love but never find anyone. In my mid 20's I was engaged to a really great guy. We would have married but between the Church and families and moving our plans just got derailed. After that I thought I was in love a few times but they really didn't love me. They just didn't. In 1998 I adopted a daughter on my own because I desperately wanted children. She is the love of my life. But I really wanted a whole family. So in 2000 I…

Read more